For example, one of the competitors described themselves as "being intellectually on a slow burner". This phrasing has now come back to haunt them not once, not twice, but it's being constantly used and has become, indeed, a filter through which all the contestant's actions are being judged.

Everyone is looking out for more incidences of "slow burning intellect" and in the latest episode, a big deal was made of this candidate not spotting something that was going wrong early enough, even though they were, once again, the only person to have spotted it at all, and in the first place.

That's just one example of many; indeed so many, that I am beginning to wonder if those who are doing the hiring and firing here have ever any ideas of their own at all about the candidates, or just sit there and wait for the candidates to tell THEM in their own words what's wrong with them, and why they should be hired, or fired!

The NLP 101 violation that's happening here and the results of which are being played out quite practically for all to see is that of the direct internal representation that cannot process a negative.

So the the candidate says, "I'm not a complete tosser!" and the internal representation that is being made by the boss is, "That guy is a complete tosser!"

Which is the same thing that happened for the "slow burning comment" - now the candidate is paired in the boss's mind (and in that of the co-workers, and the whole national audience!) with someone who is slow, intellectually.

And how do we avid shooting ourselves in the back, not just the foot, with our comments about our own performance?

We learn the basic NLP 101 skill of phrasing everything, even the most negative possible, in the positive, that's how.

So if you're thinking at the speed of a geriatric snail, you don't say that, you rephrase it in your mind and you say instead, "I am not someone who thinks at light speed all the time."

If you want to really hammer it home what a catch you are, you can add to that, "I am not someone who thinks at light speed all the time, and I am extremely thorough, reliable, honest and trustworthy."

Wow ...

If you're emotionally unstable, you say, "Even though I'm not perfectly balanced at all times and under all circumstances, my heart is in the right place and I like to keep a cool head under fire."

There you go.

Here's an exercise in NLP 101.

Make a list of your worst failings. Be brutal, be honest, and then add what your worst enemies would say about you.

Sit down and rephrase the list to the positive.

Practice the skill of how to do that so it sounds really good and makes an amazing internal representation, using the two step approach of firstly saying what you are not, and secondly adding with an "and" what the further advantages of you not being what you are not might entail.

If asked if you're a good lover, you can then look a person in the eye and say quite congruently, "I am definitely not Don Juan, and I care for my partner deeply and make sure that they have a most wonderful experience in every way imaginable ..."

Then, at the very least, if someone wants to insult you or pick at your shortcomings, they will come up with THEIR OWN WORDS, and you didn't give them the ammunition that was custom made to shoot you down in the first place.

A final note.

That two step pattern of firstly stating what you are not to create exactly THAT internal representation first, and then to go on and add further "bonuses and benefits" that derive directly from you not being that what you're not also serves as an interesting form of personal post hypnotic suggestion and personal development affirmation.

Just as those who hire and fire make the internal representation of someone who DOES think at light speed, DOES keep a cool head under fire, and DOES make love like Don Juan, so YOU TOO make that same internal representation as you think and say those things in that order and sequence.

• The "and" connector then BRIDGES to those qualities that "seem" diametrically opposed but in actual fact if ADDED to the original internal representation creates something that is more than the sum of the parts - this is a concept integration in a single sentence, quite a skillful thing in its own right.

But it all rests on a real NLP 101 - namely to understand and activate the basic NLP concept that negatives cannot be processed; and to create the right order of actual internal representations to have someone see, hear and feel EXACTLY what you want them to see, hear, and feel - in this case, about you.

Dr S Hartmann, May 2009